Dear Agony Aunt,

I have reached the end of my patience. I’m drinking too much coffee, I smoke like a chimney, I’m not eating properly and I just cannot sleep. I did not see any of the World Cup nor Wimbledon and now even my kids call me Uncle Dad as I spend hour after hour at work. At times, a short step off a tall bridge does not seem such a bad idea. These Distributors are killing me!

The world’s greatest drinks salesman is glowing bright yellow in the sky. Consumers are literally gasping for drinks yet we cannot get our products onto shelves and into coolers. We have given the Distributors some very focused incentives and we are spending thousands on quirky TV ads with that irritating Pop Idol geek with the funny hair. There is no doubt our brand awareness is right up at the top level yet we just don’t sell as much as we should!

When the weather is this hot consumers want a drink when they are thirsty and not when Joe Egg the Distributor can be bothered to turn up in his smoke belching van to replenish stocks. If our product is not sitting invitingly in a cooler the thirsty masses simply take an alternative product. Consumption is immediate, I have lost a sale and this drives me mad.

Please, please help me. Tell me what I should do before I lose even more of my hair.

Yours,

Frustrated of FMCG